Catching Up

So, I haven't posted in a very, very long while but I have decided to change that status immediately! I spent the weekend of April 25 & 26 with an amazing bead artist, Marcia DeCoster, who was kind enough to grace us with her talent & presence at the Alaska Bead Company for 4 amazing classes in seed bead work!!

Marcia is a serious blogger (check out her website at http://www.marciadecoster.com) to see her amazing designs, read about her life, and link to her fun blog! So, after hearing Marcia talk about her daily blogging & reading some of her entries (hey, my picture is even on one of the blog entries), I realized that I needed to get my blogging butt in gear. Hats off to you Marcia; you've accomplished what few can -- motivating me (LOL!)

I've been busy working on my Marcia DeCoster jewelry items (Romantica & La Boquita), finding inspiration at every turn, now that finals week is over at UAA. Get this -- I even posted my grades early (for me anyhow!); its just an amazing time all around.

The weather in Anchorage has been dishing out mass amounts of sunshine. We still get down in the high 30s at night but the days are heaven. In fact, Saturday (May 2) we had record breaking temperatures -- thank you God! It was awesome after the dreary, cold, & rainy summer last year. I planted the zucchini, summer squash, acorn squash (we're trying this new this year), sunflowers, strawflowers, and cucumbers in their started pots in the sunroom. I also had to move the cabbage & lettuce plants out to the greenhouse to start hardening them off the same day. Course, silly me, I spaced about how hot it was & put the baby plants in the top shelve of the greenhouse. Thank goodness my dad was around. He noticed where I had put the plants, thought he'd go have a look/see & found the poor babies wilting from the direct sun & heat! So, he moved them down a shelf to get them out of the direct sun & they've perked back up extremely well.

Next, I've got to plant the herbs (cilantro, basil, thyme, & rosemary) as well as the marigolds. I was going to do them on Saturday but ran out of little starter pots. I think I'm planting way, WAY to many seeds -- sure hope Paul & Dad can get the garden cleaned out in time! I've also got radishes, beets, peas (two types -- yummo!), and carrots to plant in a few weeks once the night warm up a bit. At the rate the weather is going, we're going to have a bumper crop of everything from the garden. Good thing we're in a new house -- the neighbors are unsuspecting & have no clue about our ways (you know, dropping zucchini, crooked neck, cucs, etc. on their doors late at night so our refrigerators & freezer don't explode!)

Ok, off to bed. Paul & I started a new weight-loss program & we have to eat at the same time each day so my "summer vacation" won't include sleeping in much!

Blog Project: Findings

Although I have not completed reading all of the evaluative responses from my students, I have found several things of great interest already as I have watched my students work through this project. One of the first things I noticed was that students were clearly split into two groups; those enjoying the new experience and those fearing negative feedback from unknown participants. I believe this came from their confusion about who their audience was since blogging can be, as a fellow graduate student put it, “like screaming into the void.” Still, even with these fears and hesitations, I saw that, overall, my students seemed more willing to write since their occasional grammar, punctuation, and spelling errors were less of an issue in this format. This, then, created higher amounts of blog posts and greater participation in both personal blog entries and peer comments. Also, although side conversations frequently cropped up, most commenter adhered to the topic presented and full-blown rants were rare. Ironically, the only rants I saw were between fellow classmates who knew each other; it was as if having a known commenter say something negative felt like a personal attack while an unknown commenter may have misunderstood or could be more easily ignored.

These findings have lead me to the realization that I need to spend more time helping my students understand their audience and how to deal with situations where an audience may not be easily identified. Also, it quickly became obvious that there was a need to solicit comments for people outside of the peer group in order to truly enter into a more global conversation. When (not if) I do this project again, I will restructure my lesson plans to include sessions on audience identification and presentation. My other change will be to assign students the task of researching and participating in another person’s blog who is discussing a similar or related topic. The one student I had who received comments from an outside source, has found his blog work very enlightening and engaging as well as having the benefit of getting a perspective from a person from another part of the world. This student has not only continued to communicate with this other gentleman but has also gone to his blog and made comments. In a recent email from my student, he told me that he had just joined a discussion group on the topic of socialism around the globe – a great addition to both his knowledge base and his global awareness!

Blog Project: Evaluation

The process of evaluation of this project will require several steps and many participants. I will begin by evaluating the initial entries each student makes on their blogs to see how they present their argument. This portion of the evaluation will involve looking at each student’s choice for blog form (colors, layout, fonts) as well as how each blog post is titled and written. After evaluating initial posts, I will focus my further evaluation on received comments and responses to these comments. I will be looking to see how each blog master initiates conversation in their blogs and how they respond to comments they receive from various participants. My hope during this time is to see how well my students present themselves is a less familiar form (blogs) as well as to see how they respond in an environment that, for many, is less threatening because of the unfamiliarity factor where participants may or may not know who the person is who they are responding to. Finally, each student do a two-fold analysis: 1) they will present an evaluation of one of their peer’s blogs they were involved with, basing their analysis on how well they see the blog master presenting their information and how well they feel the responses were to comments made on their posts; and 2) they will write a short evaluation of their own blog, focusing on their use of rhetorical strategies, audience acknowledgement, and participant response, to analyze their strong and weak points in conversing about their argument.
I believe that success or failure of this writing project will be fairly easy to evaluate since students will be required to participate in both their own blogs and the blogs of others. Also, the effectiveness (or lack thereof) of this particular pedagogical choice will be seen in the final evaluations each student presents. Of course, it is my firm belief that the true value of this lesson will not be known for some time; in fact, it may never be well-known to me. This is because I believe that what my students do today will, if the gods are kind, stick with them through their college careers and, possibly, into their future, as they step into new and extended discourse communities where they will be able to present themselves effectively and efficiently.

Blog Project: Pedagogical Application

During my research, I discovered that the brain process of today’s youth has drastically changed from that of previous generations. Where once we scanned in a Z-pattern (think about how you read a book), many now scan in an F-pattern (think about how you view a web page). Another factor that plays into the pedagogical process of teaching composition is Lankshear and Knobel’s notion of the recent development of an “attention economy.” due to the influx of vast amounts of information readily and rapidly available to today’s discourse community participant. People today seem to be moving from a goods-drive economy to a media-attention driven economy where the more attention you gain, the more successful you are. Both of these fairly recent developments point to the need to rethink how we teach composition and how we instruct our students to present themselves and their positions in the various discourse communities they are involved with. By using blogging as a form of presentation, I will be taking my students out of the more archaic “norm” of written presentation and introducing them to just one of the numerous forms of attention gaining, F-pattern styled formats for presentation that are available in today’s information-glutted, hyper-linked world where less (in words) is often more (in outcome).

Blog Project: Theoretical Underpinnings

I have always preferred the theoretical notion that literacy is related to discourses we participate in. By viewing a person’s communication, whether it is spoken, written, or presented in a mixed media format, as that of a participating in a discourse community, the senses of relationship and responsibility come into play; each participant is a member of a community and all the pieces and parts that go with that concept. Lankshear and Knobel (2006) define literacies as “socially recognized ways of generating, communicating and negotiating meaningful content through the medium of encoded texts with contexts of participation in Discourses (or, as members of Discourses)” (p. 64). This definition fits snuggly into my theoretical followings of discourse communities and the recognition that literacy is, basically, the way we present our ideas and texts in a socially recognized format.

One of the things that I enjoy most about the “new” literacies we find on the internet and in mixed media presentations is that these forms of communication are much more participatory, more collaborative, and less author-centered than the texts of the past. Plato believed that all literature was a meager imitation of the real thing; no new ideas came from anything written. Yet, today we can find numerous sources where authors around the globe have collaborated on an online journal article, written a short story together, or had brainstorm sessions in online discussion forums, chats, and via instant messaging or text messaging. Inside information comes through blogs, youtube videos, wikis, and websites. People even fall in meet and fall in love while gaming online! So, the idea that nothing new is ever written or discussed, that literacy is a minor imitation of reality is no longer a plausible argument – fortunately, Plato has been proven wrong.

Blog Project: Project Details & Goals

My intention with this project is to have my students present their argument topic along with their research using blog entries instead of the more traditional written essay. Students will be using the subject they have been working with all semester to formulate and argue their position on one side of their issue using information they gathered during the research essay portion of our course. Before beginning their blog, students will clearly define stance in a thesis statement and outline their argument presentation based on how they see their blog entries progressing. Students from both of my English 111 courses will be required to review the blogs of their peers and become involved with at least two blogs which pique their interests by commenting on the blog entries, asking questions, and generating conversation. In addition, by using an online blog source such as blogger.com, the students may receive additional comments from the broader community. My goal for this project as well as for the overall semester is to see my students each develop a level of expertise in a chosen area. This not only allows them to engage intelligently and clearly in a discourse community but provides them with the understanding that it takes more than words to make a point or win an argument – it takes understanding of language usage and rhetorical strategies as well as topic knowledge.

In addition to my students presenting their argument in blog format, I will be using my personal blog, “Beth’s Mental Wanderings,” on blogger.com to record and track my findings and observations with this project. As I work towards my personal goal of finding ways to break down the barriers of language in composition, I will focus my comments on the literature I review, my own musings, and feedback from my students as the project progresses in an effort to determine if, as I suspect, Web 2.0 technology is the force which will finally break down the walls surrounding English composition and its access to students from different countries and different backgrounds, even those within the physical United States of America. I firmly believe that somehow, somewhere, there is a source or sources which will bring our world together on a more level playing field so that we can communicate, through writing, globally in ways that create better understanding instead of further separation.

Blog Project: Research Question & Literature Review

Research Question: How does blogging as a technology and a pedagogical process aid in the writing process of specific groups of college-level freshmen composition students?

Literature Review

Through my research on blog technology and the use of blogging in the classroom, I found a number of articles which provided statistical information and background about blogs and blogging as well as some suggested writing activities involving blogging. Although these resources were helpful in understanding the changing face of blogs and how blogs are being employed in academic settings, most of the current literature is directed towards K-12 teachers and not college instructors. This, in my opinion, leaves a huge gap in the Web 2.0 technology and education knowledge base which needs to be addressed. My hope is that by designing and implementing a composition activity intended for a college-level group of students, I will be able, in at least a small way, to begin filling the knowledge gap I have discovered. I have created a list of the articles I found to be most helpful in my research in the comments section of this post.

Blog Project: Rationale

As I have studied the different forms of digital communication currently available, I have come to believe that blogging allows for a more academic conversation than instant messaging, chat rooms, or discussion forums. One of my UAA peers told me that he believed forums were the way to go when presenting a topic for discussion and argument because “blogs are personal journals that are just used by you.” Although blogs were and are still considered by some to be personal, online journals, the realm of the blog has become much more academic and political in the past few years. Also, while discussion forums are often used to present arguments and pursue discussion, the formats of these forums make following and reviewing threads cumbersome. In addition, my fairly extensive personal experience with discussion forums has shown me that attempting to return to a discussion and find previously mentioned information in the threads is much more difficult than reviewing a blog entry where the search capability allows the reader to search for key terms or phrases. It is my belief that blogging will provide a unique opportunity for my students to improve their writing process, expand their computer skills, and gain a deeper understanding of the highly digital world they will be making their living in after entering (or reentering) the global work force. Therefore, it makes logical sense to use blogging in an entry level college composition course.

Blog Project: Focus Groups

For this project, I will be focusing on two groups of students I have identified as having unique challenges as they undertake their first college composition course. The first group, older students either returning to or entering college for the first time after years in the local work force, often enter the college with a deep sense of trepidation about using the computer. These students need a higher degree of exposure to both computers and Web 2.0 offerings. I have a personal degree of knowledge and compassion for this group of students as I am one of those students who returned to college after a 20+ year absence during which I worked in the U.S. work force and raised my family.

The second group, students whose first language is not English or who were raised in a home where English was not the primary spoken language, struggle with barriers and gaps in their movement between their spoken languages and written English. These students who are often identified as ELL, ESL, or Generation 1.5 students, are all quite capable of expressing themselves verbally in any of their languages, but lack the ability to clearly present their thoughts in written texts. These same students are often very comfortable with the use of computers and the internet which they view as a less intense, more user-friendly atmosphere than the standard classroom.

Blog Project: Purpose

The second generation of internet-based services which concentrate on social networking sites such as wikis, blogs, and instant messaging, Web 2.0 could very well be the wave of the future of college composition courses. During the course of this semester, I have studies various forms of digital literacies using different types of Web 2.0 technology and the use of these technologies in college coursework. As I have worked with students and their writing process over the past two years, both as an instructor and a writing center tutor, I have discovered a disturbing lack of balance in the understanding of composition instruction for certain groups of students. At UAA, our student body consists of students entering college directly out of high school, older adults entering or returning to college after many years of employment in the U.S. work force, students who come from a multitude of racial and cultural backgrounds, students from foreign-exchange programs, recent U.S. immigrants, senior citizens, single parents, married couples, high-school teenagers seeking early college credit, students who are home-schooled, students from public schooling. . . – the list goes on and on. In the 2008 Annual Survey of Colleges, the average UAA degree-seeking undergraduate student age was 28.8 years; this age is based on the average of 16,547 full-time and part-time students who have claimed a degree-seeking status and does not include those students attending for refresher courses or general interest (Rice, 2008). One of my areas of deepest frustration as an instructor is finding ways to assist my struggling students as they strive to understand the complexities of the English language and the writing process. This is where, in my opinion, some of the Web 2.0 offerings come into play. Today’s digital world requires a strong working knowledge of computer software for document creation, mathematical calculations, and research. Yet, these programs that are suppose to be “helpful” can create incredible exasperation for a student who has not had extensive exposure to the necessary software programs and internet functions. Add to this the missing understanding of currently used documentation styles, language barriers, or learning difficulties and you have the makings of a struggling, disgruntled, and, too often, failing student. The purpose for this project is to incorporate at least one part of Web 2.0’s networking tools, in this case, blogging, into my freshmen composition course to assess if using this type of networking tool encourages writing and enables increased success for struggling students.

Testing the Waters

So, I'm sitting here with a student & we're discussing how to write blog posts. Figured I'd go into my blog & show her how its done.

Figuring It All Out

Well, I introduced blogs & blogging last week in class. Instead of having my students write me a weekly letter, I had them got to blogger.com & create a blog, then post their blog address & a quick note about their semester research topic in their post on discussion board. Pretty much everyone did it -- those that didn't benefited from Erika V.'s blog set-up instructions. Thank God for Erika & the ease of blogger.com!!

One of the things that came up in class this week was questions on what a blog is -- in comparison to using our discussion board or emailing. . . We had a wonderful discussion about Web. 2.0 technology & most of my students were really excited about this opportunity. Of course, as anticipated, I had one student in my morning class who wasn't really hot on the idea of submitting his stuff into the "void" of the internet but once I explained our process, he seemed to be okay with everything.

An older student in my afternoon class asked me how to post a blog -- I hadn't thought of that one as a need (don't know why), so I quickly put up my blog on screen & showed students how to create a blog entry. I've already found it very interesting to see how excited my students are to try this format of discussion. Although a number of my younger students have blogs on their myspace accounts, few if any have ever looked at a more academic blog. So, their weekly letter assignment this week is to look at one (or more) reputable sources such as cnn, abc, nbc, cbs, fox & review some of the blog entries made about a current topic. I first thought about having them seek out an article & blog relevant to their topic but decided to leave the choice up to them. I did, however, encourage them to look towards their research topic in order to give them even more information about what people are thing about their subject matter.

I handed out a slightly altered version of my argument essay assignment sheet to help them begin to prepare their minds for setting up & presenting their arguments on their blogs. So, what's left? Plenty!!

1) How do I get their reference pages linked to their blogs so that people can reference the sources they site?
2) Do I really need to worry about citations in this venue?
3) How am I ever going to get my few "taildraggers" to work on their stuff a little each day or so which will help them formulate ideas & post blog entries that are overwhelming them or their reading public?

I'm sure there is more that I'm missing but for now that's all I can think of. I'm meeting with my professor tomorrow to discuss this project &, with any luck, get some more direction on what I'm doing. I still have no clue what theoretical point I'm coming from here so I have to figure that out also! My two greatest fears are not being able to properly present this to my students & having them more frustrated then reinforced AND running out of time!

Playing with HTML

So, we're sitting in my digital literacies class talking about blogs & blogging. One of my classmates is talking about setting up a blog & how to use different HTML codes to make your blog posting pretty, interesting, etc. Now, I have to figure out how to play with this -- so much to take in!!

Ok, I'm going to go try some of this HTML stuff. In the meantime, for anyone interested in working with HTML, Erika found a great website all about using HTML == http://www.w3schools.com/html/default.asp

Check it out!

Oops! I've been a bit busy.

Okay, I'll make this fast. Clearly I've been a bit busy with life and grad school for the past year. I'm still working on my "Summer Bumps" book & have turned over the graphics work to my amazing brother in Colorado. I've decided to use blogging as part of my freshmen composition course work & have my students create blogs as part of their argument assignment. I think this will be fun albeit a bit challenging since some of my students are very technology paranoid. Well, must got do some schoolwork (yet again!) Bye!!!

Summer Bumps!

Ah, my first year of graduate school is finally over!! Praise Jesus!!!!!!!!!!!! I have never been more tired, more burned out, or more determined to make good on something as I am with this program. All I can say, is thank God its only one more year! I'm not even thinking about my doctoral program -- more power to my friends Erika & Laura -- I'm just wanting to get that hood thing attached to my robes & strut across that stage yelling "Look Ma, look Dad, check me out Honey, I did it!! Maybe I'll get lucky & my whole family, kids, grandbabies, parents, relatives, bestest friends, everyone, can all come for the graduation. By the time I finish my doctorate (if I even get that far), I'll be too old to walk across stage & I'm be in so much debt, I'll be working 24/7 just to make the loan payments (don't laugh, its true!)

So, today I decided to do a little substitute teaching with my favorite elementary school kids at Scenic Park Elementary. A kindergarten teacher needed a substitute for the day & that was just what the doctor ordered. What a great bunch of kids -- so full of energy, questions, answers, even tears for a few. I told them the secret of the "summer bumps" -- they were so excited & asked me to write down the story. So, that's what I'm going to do -- write a children's book. I've always wanted to write children's literature (its so much funner than all that cloak & dagger garbage my husband reads or the sexy vampire novels I read). So, I've drafted the storyline for the summer bumps & I'm going to ask my brother to do the art work. This oughta be fun!!

Ok, go read a good book, enjoy a snuggle with someone you love, and remember that I'm always out here, mentally wandering around just waiting for a friend.

Prayers & Sorrow for VT families

Sitting in my classroom yesterday waiting for the final 5 literary theory classes of the semester to begin, word came in that there had been a horrible shooting incident at Virginia Tech. As more information poured in and word of the number of wounded & dead reached us, my mind began to travel towards the family & friends of those caught in the horror of the moment. Now, reading news reports, I find that the young man will go down in history for committing the worst mass shooting rampage ever was one of those students that could have easily been in one of my English courses -- one of the ones many of us tend to ignore. Recent research work has lead me to understand that this young man was in a group more marginalized than many realize -- he was what we in the writing center world refer to as "Generation 1.5." My research has shown me that these students, often more than those students identified by many as ESL or international students, was a young man without a real nation to call his own. Foreign-born, U.S. educated, living on the fringes of the Anglo society, &, clearly, suffering from emotional problems, I can see how he is now being viewed as a bomb ticking down to destruction.

Many cultures do not recognize mental illness & seeking assistance, especially as a male, can be an embarrassment for both the person & their extended family. Problems are to be dealt with through perseverance & within the private privileges of the family. Having witnessed the horror that accompanied a fellow middle school instructor's son's suicide years ago, the only son of a proud Chinese family, I came to recognize how short-sighted some cultures are about mental illness. My own family, including myself, has a long history of severe depression, suicide, & other mental illnesses so recognizing & addressing these concerns is something that I have worked hard to make my children aware of. Reading about how the faculty & students who knew this young man were concerned enough about him & the writing work that he did for classes to turn refer him for counseling tells me that this "child" was in desperate need of intervention. More attention must be taken by the public to actively pursue help for those showing signs of emotional duress so that horrors such as those at VT, my friend's son, the fellow UAA student who committed suicide last week, & so many others can be helped.

Today, my prayers go to those families & individuals at VT & in its surrounding community who have suffered the losses created by the desperate acts committed yesterday. I also pray for & weep with the family of the young man who was moved to such destructive measures, to the taking of both his life & the lives of others. A suicide note, rambling or well-composed, will never tell us what was really happening in the mind of those who commit such atrocities - what we can know, without a doubt, is that had more aggressive action been taken on the part of the man's family & the university, many lives would have been saved. So, pray -- pray for the families, pray for the victims, pray for those injured & recovering, &, more importantly, pray for those who sit on that edge even now that help may find them or they may find their way to help so that no more tears need be shed for useless losses.

Suicide -- tragedy or relief?

Last night, as I was checking my email, I received a "breaking news" alert from my local newspaper which I subscribe to online & in paper form. Opening the article, I found that the body of a woman in her mid-30s had been discovered in Cook Inlet -- an apparent suicide. Busy with school work & not wanting to really think about something as depressing as a person taking their life when Spring is finally on its way here in Anchorage, I clicked the delete button & went about my business. This morning, walking into my first class of the day, I saw my baby sister sitting alone (unusual for her to say the least) & appearing deep in thought. Since I hadn't talk to her in a few days, I went up to give her a hug & chat for a few minutes.

The conversation started normally (wuz up sweetums?), turned toward the play she had written for her theatre class, & then, almost without warning, she says "And I'm sad because my good friend, H---, drove her Jeep off a cliff into the inlet yesterday. I was in shock -- the "breaking news" had been about a person I had met, albeit briefly, through my sister, who was an active church member, & who had two small children. As my sister provided more details, I kept thinking, why? Depression -- Yes. Drugs -- in the past. Other problems -- most definitely. But, why now? When the world seems to be breathing a deep sigh of relief after a long, hard winter -- why now? But then, why ever?

Just over a year ago, a friend of mine from school decided to end his life. 32 years ago, my grandfather chose to take his own life. Several other relatives of mine have attempted, some multiple times, to end their lives. I've been hospitalized under "suicide watch" twice as has my father. So, what am I getting to -- where is this all going? I'm not sure except that I find myself straddling a fence of sorts, one that sees suicide as a means to an end that brings, at least for the person committing the act, the end to the pain & struggle that has gone on, often, for years & years. I mean, is suicide all that different from finding out you have a terminal disease & chosing to allow the disease to take its course instead of going through chemotherapy or other methods meant to extend your life? We lost one of my aunts this week -- to aggressive lung cancer. She chose to live her life out, whatever time was left, without scientific intervention that would prolong the inevitable. Staying home, using ground up pain meds to get through those last hours, she died as she lived -- by her own will.

Life is a mystery to me yet it is one that I meet each day with a feeling of joy, even on days like today when the semester nears its end, I'm way behind in my writing process, I've got a head cold that just won't go away, & I'm catching a plane to Texas tonight to present at an international conference. The pain I have suffered in my past was difficult &, at the time it was happening, I was unsure I would get through it. Still, I persisted &, thank God, so did my family. I have a difficult time thinking of what might happen in my life that would convince me to decide to end things, to make death more welcome than life. But, & here it goes again, I have known people who suffered so greatly & for so long, with no familial support that the pain becomes more than they can handle. My sister's friend had a loving church family & children who loved her but it wasn't enough. What is enough?

It seems the more I think about this subject, the more confused I get. See, I think what my aunt chose to do was fine -- she had a right to live & die her way. Maybe the fact that she had a terminal disease made her decisions easier to accept -- I mean 8-12 weeks of living life as fully as possible or 6-8 months of chemo side effects, radiation burns, & still knowing you weren't going to see next Christmas. Suicide seems, at first glance, such a selfish thing to do. It seems such a slap in the face to those who loved the leaver, who gave their tears & hearts to supporting that person -- as if to say, "Sorry folks! You just didn't come up to muster so I'm out of here." I don't think that my friend, my sister's friend, or my grandfather would say, "Yes, that's why I did it." Instead, they would talk about the pain their were in for so long & how life became too difficult to bear. My grandfather & my sister's friend were Christians -- I believe that they called for Jesus at their final moment & I believe that Jesus came to them. Even my friend who didn't profess a love of Christ was held gently by the angels who stayed with him, so that he was not alone. I just wish there was some way I could tell these people that sticking around isn't such a bad idea. I'm one of those who wants to give the world a big hug & make it all better but I know I can't. All I can do is lend an ear, pray a prayer, and hope that those around me here me when I say, "Suicide may be a relief for you, in this moment, with this incredible pain -- but its permanent & the tragedy of your leaving will forever affect those who remain. Say awhile, rest awhile. Let tomorrow be the day you choose your final destiny but for now -- let it go."

"Advanced" Education

Who is it that came up with the idea that the more college education a person had the more intelligence and knowledge that person contained? Coming to the conclusion of my first year of graduate school, I have begun to feel that my mind gets increasingly foggier as the semesters pass. At the rate I'm going, by this time next year, I will have succeeded in the completion (or near completion) of my master's degree program and I won't have a single brain cell left with which to make logical choices. Even now, I can no longer pick up a novel and read it for the sheer enjoyment that reading has always provided me in the past. Instead, my mind teems with details of literary critical theory and I find myself wondering how Marx or Freud would assess the writings of J.D. Robb or James Patterson. Education has always played an important part in my life and in the life of my family. However, being the first one of the family (out of three children & two parents) to acquire my college degree much less move on to a graduate program, I have started rethinking my position on higher education. What, you may ask does this mean? I have no clue. My heart's desire has long been to be a teacher -- but one at the collegiate level, not a K-12 instructor. This, of course, requires the earning of a doctorate as well as the specialization in a specific area of knowledge. My prayer is that, with the passage of a few more years, I will be able to find a balance between the joys that learning have always brought me and the stress of becoming "specialized" in a specific area of study. Right now, my goal is to reach the end of this semester & complete my final exams without having a meltdown -- the rest will come after I spend some time communing with God, nature, and my family while taking a break from being a "pro" -- thank GOD summer is almost here!

The "Canon" of Literature

Today is the annual Pacific Rim Literary Conference at the University of Alaska, Anchorage. This year's topic is called "Shakespeare in the Bush" (or something like that) and addresses the idea of teaching literature from the "canon" to students in what are often considered "marginalized" cultures. Being a life-long Alaskan but not an Alaskan native by heritage, I find myself more attached to the rich culture of my state instead of aligning myself with the good ole "white man way" of my familial past. The question of canonical items has long been one I've toyed with. I remember receiving a list of the "Top 100 books to read for college-bound high school students" when I was a junior at East Anchorage High. My honors English instructor gave us this list with the expressed sentiment that we should work to read every one of these important texts over the summer if we truly wanted to be successful in college. Well, let me tell you!! As the first family member planning to attend college directly out of high school, I took what she said to heart (I mean, lets face it, she was the "expert") and proceeded to the local library to check out several of the texts even before summer break began. I was also duly impressed with myself to find that I had read at least 10 of the books already so that meant I was ahead of the game -- go me!

As I began to plow my way through "Jane Eyre," "The Bell Jar," and "Waiting for Godot" I found myself becoming less enamored with the idea that some books are better than others. Truly, what was wrong with my reading "Misty of Chincoteague" or "Black Beauty" if I wanted to? Why were these books less "important" than the others? My eyes crossing from trying to figure out "Godot" and my heart weighed down by Plath's depressing "Bell Jar," I came to realize that it would rather read volumes of books that inspired me than one book that someone else told me was "great literature."

Now, almost 30 years later, I have read more of those canonical texts but, primarily, none of them by choice. As my interests have changed and expanded, I have sought out new texts to inspire me and, sometimes, that leads me to one of those books my teacher recommended. Still, as I read them, I do so looking for mental challenge and inspiration, not because someone else considered the text worthy of passing on to the next generation. There are so many wonderful texts out there -- text which never make that "Top 100" list that spans the ages -- that I have no time to take in everything. I would much rather read a text based on the recommendation of a good friend or a fellow librarian than depending on a list created by someone sitting alone, locked in their dark, little world of ancient literature, scrutinizing texts as their eyes grow increasingly dim, and comparing each line to some predisposed list of "rules" which define whether or not the text is worthy of placement on the almighty Canon.

For me, it comes down to this -- the difference between capital 'C' (Canon/Culture) and small 'c' (canon/culture). The Oxford English Dictionary (Canonical dictionary if ever I've seen one), defines "Culture" (my sense of Canon) as "1) worship;reverential homage; 2) the training, development, and refinement of mind, tastes, and manners." Johanna Smith, in her essay "What is Cultural Criticism" defines "culture" (canon) as "popular, folk, urban, and mass (mass-produced, -disseminated, -mediated, and -consumed) culture, as well as the culture we associate with the sol-called classics." Smith goes on to differentiate culture as I have, capital 'C' versus small 'c.' To steal from Smith, I stretch this to my 'canon' -- one that encompasses the classic texts AND popular texts, children's literature, or anything else I find -- as long as it inspires and challenges!

Virginia Woolf's "Room of One's Own"

I have been rereading a portion of Virginia Woolf's book, A Room of One's Own, and it has struck me again how deeply Woolf must have felt about her world after WWI. Although my studies of Woolf have led me to believe that she supported the enlightened attitude of her generation, I noted that she talks about how the musical qualities of pre-war conversation has been lost. Later in the same chapter, she mentions the death of romance and how modern poetry has lost the ability to envoke strong emotions in the reader. In fact, she states that ". . . one cannot remember more than two consecutive lines of any good modern poet" (14). I find her discussion of these post-war losses in direct conflict with her desires for women to take a more active role in society. When spending a semester reading and discussing many of Woolf's works, I often caught myself wondering if she was really a romantic at heart who would have preferred being taken care of or if she was really the feminist so many people have come to define her as. One thing is certain, the more I read her work, the more I see new things -- must be why she's so intriguing to so many!